I was exaggerating our love, digging my own grave, pushing the faults away, pestering myself, why are all these happening? As time passess, I realise, you are the first person I think of when it comes to obstacles for what we've done, you'll never fail to comfort me. At the critical point, I wish I could type out your number and ring you up. But wait, who am I to cry out to you and share the ups and downs with you. Though we both have defaulted the promises that we used to have, that is past. By looking at the mess I left for you, I frame myself as a piece of trash as well. Trillion apologies couldn't mend the broken pieces of your heart and cast away the scars that left behind. Those memories that we built would forever lay upon my shoulder, forever and ever.

Today, I look up the sky and the sun is shinning so brightly. Walking alone does remind me of a person, not the one who cared for me the past years, but the one who will only be there physically. The choice I made was for you, but it was only a false dream. Today, I'm standing here because of you. It was the worst decision to choose to live with you. Indeed, I would rather choose to live with someone I can't live without. And everything was caused by a materialistic girl, me! I wouldn't cry over a spilt milk hoping the time could turn back again, I would do what I am suppose to do and hoping for good and the best.

Thank God, I didn't dial your number. It wasn't because of coward or shame, but love stopped me from doing so. Today,tomorrow, and in the future, I would still ring you for appreciating your trust, your time, your faithfulness that had been planted on me.

"My love for you is blind", Lifehouse

Always and forever.

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Out of sudden, I felt so restless knowing the fact that finals is approaching in almost 2 weeks time. Prepare? Of course NOT! On the brighter side, I should be happy that I'm leaving a place where I've been suffering for 3 months. I'm feeding myself with more and more books now, isn't that suppose to happen during peak season? Library is so crowded with nerds, but me. I can't stand the books smell, especially those twenty years old books! Gosh! Anyway, I still couldn't believe I'm almost reaching the peak of the mountain. Unfortunately, I feel like releasing all the hooks that have been attached and jump off! The steeper the mountain is, the harder you could climb up. I just wanna jump off, could you fulfill my dream?

*slap slap slap*

OHH! I remember I promised God that I won't cry anymore.
OHH! I remember I promised God that I won't feel depress anymore.
OHH! I remember I promised Got that I will try my best.

Where are all the promises that I've made?

I miss Jia Xin